Introduction

Today there will be no dearly beloved, no betrothed, and no ancient rhyme of the married.  Today there are no dead languages to solemnize vows that are very much alive and will remain so for a lifetime.  Today promises become permanent and friends become family.  However, this day is not about the words spoken or the rings exchanged, nor is it about grand pronouncements and recessional marches.  This – the day of  __________ & __________’s wedding – is about love.

One of my favorite authors once wrote, “If love is not all, then it is nothing:  this principle, and its opposite, collide down all the years of my breathless tale.”  __________ and  ___________, your breathless tale is about to begin.

If love is not all, then it is nothing.  Its opposite – if love is all, then it is everything – is going to be the basis for every aspect of your relationship.  All you have to do is simply love one another and that love shows through in everything you do for one another, how you treat each other, in good times and bad.

Love isn’t just a word; it’s an action.  Love isn’t something you say, it’s something you do.

Love is genuine, honest, and open, compassionate and kind, passionate and blind, love doesn’t know space or time, nor look through jealous eyes.  “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.  Love never dies.”

There are many different kinds of love, almost if not all of which are represented here today.  There is romantic love, the love of parents and children, of brothers and sisters and family, and love among friends.

Not only do __________ & ___________ love one another romantically – and they do, you can see it in every look, every touch, every moment they’re together – they also love one another as friends.

In fact, they’re best friends, constantly giggling and taunting and teasing and very plainly and obviously having fun together.  That love and enjoyment of each other as best friends will sustain them through this marriage.

In addition, the love collectively here today, from friends and family, will help sustain and support the promises they make today.  All of us here will help solidify this bond, as these two individuals are joined as husband and wife.

(May add Reading)

Blessing:

Long ago, people believed the human soul shared characteristics will all things celestial.  They therefore designated virtues to the East, South, West, and North.   So, in keeping with that age-old tradition…

We bless this marriage with the virtues of the East: communication between your hearts, minds, and bodies: fresh beginnings with the rising of every day’s Sun; and the value of the wisdom of sharing silences.

We bless this marriage with the virtues of the South: a warm and welcoming home; the delight of your hearts’ passion; and the ability of both to lighten the darkest of times.

We bless this marriage with the virtues of the West: the deepness of the lake; the swift flow of the river; the newness after rain; and the all-encompassing fervor of the sea.

We bless this marriage with the virtues of the North: a firm foundation to enrich your lives; a constant home to which you will always return.

Each of these blessings emphasizes things that will help you build a happy and successful marriage.  But remember, they are only tools; tools you must both use – individually and together, in order to have what you seek from this marriage.

Let the image of water and the romance of your story always flow in your hearts in strong waves, knowing they are fulfilled, a dreaming that is true.

Support from Families and Friends

The marriage of ___________ & ____________ is more than just the union of two people in love.  It’s also the joining of two families, of two sets of friends and of two patterns of life.

Who stands with this woman in support and blessing of this marriage?
                                    ‘I do” or “Her Mother and I do”

As these two people join together in marriage, they ask for the support and love of not only their families, but of their friends as well.

On this day, they ask that you be more than only friends of _________ or only friends of ____________.  They ask that you recognize their special union and welcome them both as your friends in your lives.

(May add Reading)

Charge to Couple
This is a new beginning for both of you and I’d like to offer some gentle reminders to ease your life-long task of living and growing together.

Be kind to each other.  And, when you disagree, do it respectfully.

Be gentle and forgiving with each other.  When you forgive, your hearts make room for a little more love, a little more understanding and a little more compassion.

Communicate with each other.  Share the joy that’s in your heart and the sorrow that burdens your soul.  Open your hearts to each other and find the love.

Candle-lighting Ceremony
(or may add Reading or Story about dating or engagement)

This candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage.  Its fire is magical because it represents the light of two people in love. This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it aflame. This candle is also a candle of Unity because both must come together, giving a spark of themselves, to create the new light. As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives.  May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness; warmth and safety in the cold; and strength and joy in your bodies, minds, and spirits.

(Bride and Groom proceed to candle and light it)

May your union be forever blessed.

Love and Marriage

Most would agree that it is love that keeps people together when they’re confronted with that immense sky, with those infinite distances that separate even the closest of men and women.  But what kind of love?

Poets, priests and philosophers, and no small number of cabbies, barbers and bartenders have debated this question.  We speak of spiritual love, passionate love, love eternal…but the phrase that may capture the reality of this emotion best is stirring the oatmeal: love.  When you’re willing to stand in your bathrobe on a cold kitchen floor at 5:00 AM, and stir the oatmeal so your spouse can have a little more sleep-and not even think twice about why you’re doing it-then you have a love that can last a lifetime.  A Carl Jung once wrote, “feeling is a matter of the small”

Such simple, pragmatic experiences are the best places for love to take root.  In such ground, love blossoms over time, becoming deeper, more beautiful, and more profound. Love so deep, intimacy so profound, cannot help but suggest transcendence, a shifting of human experience into the realm of the spiritual.  This is what makes marriage a unique milestone in any relationship   __________ and _______ have been together for ________ years.  They seem as close as any two people can be.  Yet they felt the need for something more: a rite of passage.

We define marriage as a sacrament, something that is itself defined as “a rite ordained as an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.”  That is why we are here: to witness this visible sign.  These words, these actions-they are the manifestation of that inward grace.  In this way, a marriage is like a mirror.  It lets us look into depths that cannot be seen directly, and reflects the spirit of the two being joined as one.

Vows

From this day onward, I choose you _______________to be my wife.

            To live together and laugh together;
            To work by your side and dream in your arms;
            To fill your heart and feed your soul;
            To always see out the best in you;
            To play with you whenever I can, as we grow old;
            Always loving you with all my heart, until the end of forever.

From this day onward, I choose you _______________to be my husband.

            To live together and laugh together;
            To work by your side and dream in your arms;
            To fill your heart and feed your soul;
            To always see out the best in you;
            To play with you whenever I can, as we grow old;
            Always loving you with all my heart, until the end of forever.

Promises

__________, do you take  ____________to be the wife of your days, the companion of your heart and the friend of your life?  To stand united in the face of adversity and bask together in the light of good fortune?  With these words spoke, and all those as yet unspoken, do you wish to marry _________ and join your life with hers?

“I do”
__________, do you take  ____________to be the wife of your days, the companion of your heart and the friend of your life?  To stand united in the face of adversity and bask together in the light of good fortune?  With these words spoke, and all those as yet unspoken, do you wish to marry _________ and join your life with hers?

“I do”

Rings

Though we have heard the vows, which have been shared by __________& __________, words, once spoken, are carried away on the wind.  Therefore, the wedding ring is a visible symbol of the promises that have been made.

As you place the ring on (his/her) finger, please repeat after me:
            With this ring, I marry you and bind my life to yours.
            It is a symbol of my eternal love,
            My everlasting friendship,
            And the promise of all my tomorrows.

May these wedding rings be a reminder to __________ & _________of the commitment they have made today and be as a testimony to all the world of their devotion in marriage.

Benediction
Each day of your life together,
May the sun rise on new joys and new treasures
To discover with each other.

And each evening,
May it set peacefully on a world made bright and beautiful by the love you share. 

Pronouncement
__________ & ____________, you have heard the words about love and marriage, have exchanged your vows and made your promises, and celebrated your union with the giving and receiving of rings.

It is at this time that I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may now kiss the bride!

Presentation
And now, to all the friends and family who have come to celebrate this marriage, I would like to present, for the first time anywhere, Mr. & Mrs. _____________.